On vacation

I'm heading out to California this Sunday to spend some quality time at my favorite hideout at the foot of the Sierra Nevadas. That's in northern Cal.


This is a picture of a place near Bear Creek, where I had my first "awakening". A place where I was asked to go in my late teens to face my fears. Alone. Its a place I went back to in subsequent years to unplug form The Matrix and practice my martial arts.

I will be back Dec. 3oth. Till then I will not be updating this blog.

Take care and have a happy holiday!

Life off the grid

I grew up a very "socially engaged" kid. That means I was always in the company of people. I partied seriously in school. I hung out with two very different crowds in college. One as a normal frat-boy and the other as something probably shaped me into what I am today - a hybrid of Eastern and Western personalities. I learned to feel equally at home in the suburbs of New York as I do in the suburbs of Beijing. I learned to look beyond buildings and faces.

One thing I noticed wherever I am, whether in Singapore or London, is how we're all tied together to one system. How our passport is cleared at immigration and how our credit cards are cleared at the hotel, regardless of where we are, would suggest that we also live in a seperate but interlocking system. We are part of the global network.

In the same manner we are also plugged into the most notoriously transient of bubbles - the global economy. Some of us who parked serious money in speculative ventures are learning that a bad day on Wall Street can wipe us out in Kuala Lumpur. The best part is in how it is all imaginary. We've never seen the company we've bought stock in. We've never held a dime in our hands of the currency we speculate in. We hope to profit from imaginary transience, caused by imaginary rumors and imaginary money. Everything is imaginary.

Some say this is the price to pay for modern life. We can't help but be part of the global grid, either through what we produce at work or what we consume. Our tools of survival are forecasting, predicting and timing. All we do is watch for signs.

I have another idea of life that's no less fulfilling. How about life off the grid.

Not that its a totally radical idea. It was explored in depth in the trilogy of The Matrix, my favorite movie.

Life on the grid (or some say la-la land) has its material advantages. You speak everybody's language and you value what everyone else values. Notice how money opens just about any door. We are conditioned to live in a collective. There's no bigger comfort than being "one of us," no bigger fear than NOT being "one of us." We all love the same things - Disneyland, McDonald's, fashion and money. We're only a phone call or an email away from each other. The grid binds us together. It defines our whole life.

Drawbacks? There are plenty. One week without the internet or one month without swiping that credit card can throw us into a state of serious discomfort. An unpaid bill in London can render us unable to buy anything in Sydney. A drop in the US dollar can make our savings go poof. When a contagion hits the grid, we go down with it, even if we personally did nothing to spark off that contagion.

Of course we are not totally blameless in all this. There is no free ride. If we tie ourself to an anchor, why be surprised when we get dragged underneath when it drops overboard. If we are willing to pay the price, well and good. If we are not willing, then what the hell are we doing there?

So this is what I tell my friends who are losing their shirts in this financial crisis. Forget about the rogues in the global financial system. They're not the cause of your problems. I mean, even when the economy was doing well, my friends were already struggling with debt or not having what they want anyway. The problem is the choice they made. And that is to latch their well-being onto something that is inherently unstable. My friends, inspired by tales of success of Wall Street icons, are trying their luck on the big game and their luck, as it turns out, is not too good. Even their Wall Street role models have been falling one after another.

Its the classic red pill - blue pill situation. Once you've gone down the rabbit hole, its not that hard to figure out what's really going on up there.

I had mentioned about living off the grid as part of re-engineering happiness. I am not advocating putting everything down and living in a treehouse in the forest. Despite all that's been said in The Matrix, a solution of extremes has never worked for anyone, not while we're still bound by the laws of gravity and a few other laws. But if happiness is a state of mind, then the best defense against the lunacy of financial and social bubbles, I think, is to redefine happiness in our minds. (*Nonconformity alert ^_^*) Once we realize the illogic of putting our happiness at the mercy of unstable phenomena, our system may be dislodged just enough to automatically scan for an alternative. That's the beauty of the human mind.

I cannot say where your mind will land or where it should land. That's a journey you have to take on your own. What I do know is there is life outside the grid. I had a taste of it while tunneling through the rabbit hole and you know what? Its not as bad as we think.

Sifu makes it to the silver screen

The opening routine with the "mook yan" or wooden man.... it brings back so many memories.

Story of the Mother Bird

Something I found on the internet....

After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park , forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage.

One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree. Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick. When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings. The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise.

She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies. Then the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body, the mother had remained steadfast ...because she had been willing to die, so those under the cover of her wings would live.

Being loved this much should make a difference in your life. Remember who loves you, and then be different because of it.

Unbranded belief

Beliefs are like brands. Brands are carriers of identity, the thing that makes Toyota different than Honda even though both are essentially a box on four wheels. People assign feelings to beliefs. They like it, hate it or are indifferent to it. Our minds cannot resist it apparently, because it needs road signs to operate. Identities are mental objects we create in our minds that serve as those road signs.

When people fight, if its not over limited resources, its over identities. Democrats vs Republicans. Liverpool vs. Manchester United. Sony Playstation vs. Nintendo Wii. Guru A vs. Guru B.

It always ends up the same way. Us versus them.

That's why if its clear that the mind is getting distracted over brands of beliefs, I try to shrug off these brands. I try to avoid getting drawn into situations where people argue that a good person wearing Brand X is better than a good person wearing Brand Y. Maybe its naive but I'd like to believe that good is good, no matter what brand you wear.

Vitamin C is vitamin C, regardless of whether it comes from an orange or a mango. Whether one prefers oranges or mangoes is a matter of personal taste, certainly nothing to lose sleep over.

If there could be an unbranded world, what would a good person be like? I think I found something that is closest to my ideal of a good person. A good person is one who:

1. Respects life
2. Is giving
3. Respects the body
4. Manifests truth
5. Acts with a clear mind
6. Sees the good in others, not faults
7. Realizes self and other as one, not elevate the self and blame others
8. Gives generously
9. Actualizes harmony, doesn't show anger

These are actions that I think most people would agree as beneficial, whatever their brand of belief is.

The Fourteen Precepts Of TNH

1
Do not be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory, or ideology, even Buddhist ones. Buddhist systems of thought are guiding means; they are not absolute truth.


2
Do not think the knowledge you presently possess is changeless, absolute truth. Avoid being narrow minded and bound to present views. Learn and practice nonattachment from views in order to be open to receive others' viewpoints. Truth is found in life and not merely in conceptual knowledge. Be ready to learn throughout your entire life and to observe reality in yourself and in the world at all times.


3
Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education. However, through compassionate dialogue, help others renounce fanaticism and narrow-mindedness.


4
Do not avoid suffering or close your eyes before suffering. Do not lose awareness of the existence of suffering in the life of the world. Find ways to be with those who are suffering, including personal contact, visits, images and sounds. By such means, awaken yourself and others to the reality of suffering in the world.


5
Do not accumulate wealth while millions are hungry. Do not take as the aim of your life fame, profit, wealth, or sensual pleasure. Live simply and share time, energy, and material resources with those who are in need.


6
Do not maintain anger or hatred. Learn to penetrate and transform them when they are still seeds in your consciousness. As soon as they arise, turn your attention to your breath in order to see and understand the nature of your hatred.


7
Do not lose yourself in dispersion and in your surroundings. Practice mindful breathing to come back to what is happening in the present moment. Be in touch with what is wondrous, refreshing, and healing both inside and around you. Plant seeds of joy, peace, and understanding in yourself in order to facilitate the work of transformation in the depths of your consciousness.


8
Do not utter words that can create discord and cause the community to break. Make every effort to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.


9
Do not say untruthful things for the sake of personal interest or to impress people. Do not utter words that cause division and hatred. Do not spread news that you do not know to be certain. Do not criticize or condemn things of which you are not sure. Always speak truthfully and constructively. Have the courage to speak out about situations of injustice, even when doing so may threaten your own safety.


10
Do not use the Buddhist community for personal gain or profit, or transform your community into a political party. A religious community, however, should take a clear stand against oppression and injustice and should strive to change the situation without engaging in partisan conflicts.


11
Do not live with a vocation that is harmful to humans and nature. Do not invest in companies that deprive others of their chance to live. Select a vocation that helps realise your ideal of compassion.


12
Do not kill. Do not let others kill. Find whatever means possible to protect life and prevent war.


13
Possess nothing that should belong to others. Respect the property of others, but prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other species on Earth.


14
Do not mistreat your body. Learn to handle it with respect. Do not look on your body as only an instrument. Preserve vital energies (sexual, breath, spirit) for the realisation of the Way. (For brothers and sisters who are not monks and nuns:) Sexual expression should not take place without love and commitment. In sexual relations, be aware of future suffering that may be caused. To preserve the happiness of others, respect the rights and commitments of others. Be fully aware of the responsibility of bringing new lives into the world. Meditate on the world into which you are bringing new beings.

Source

How it'll change

As more and more speech migrates online, to blogs and social-networking sites and the like, the ultimate power to decide who has an opportunity to be heard, and what we may say, lies increasingly with Internet service providers, search engines and other Internet companies like Google, Yahoo, AOL, Facebook and even eBay.

Source

So who will be in charge when the dust settles?

Scary.

The price of leadership

(This post might be depressing for you. Open your mind's windows if you must read it.)

"in the eight years that the Han Dynasty was being replaced by the Qin Dynasty 221-207B.C., the population of China decreased from 20 million to 10 million.
. . . .
In the Dong (Eastern) Han Dynasty 206B.C.-220A.D., the population of China was 50 million. After the transition of power to the Three Kingdom period 222-589, the population decreased to 7 million.
. . . .
In the Sui Dynasty 581-618, the population of China was 50 million. After the transfer of power to the Tang Dynasty 618-907, only one third was left.
. . . .
At the peak of the Song Dynasty 960-1279 the population was about 100 million. But in the beginning of the Qing Dynasty in 1655, the population was 14,033,900. During the 20 year period from 1626 to 1655, the population decreased from 51,655,459 to 14,033,900."

- Source

And then we have:

61,911,000 Murdered: The Soviet Gulag State

35,236,000 Murdered: The Communist Chinese Ant Hill

20,946,000 Murdered: The Nazi Genocide State

10,214,000 Murdered: The Depraved Nationalist Regime


- Source

We've got Alexander the Great, Charles the Great, Kangxi the Great Emperor, and many other greats.

You'll understand I am not impressed by men whose "greatness" is defined by the number of heads they mount on their wall, whatever their reason.

If this behavior was justified because others waged war on them and they were only defending their turf, then we also admit to the rightness of saying, "Better I kill you before you kill me."

And that is how nearly a billion men, women and children were put to death against their will. Having grown up with martial arts, even I have to say I find nothing superior, clever or brilliant about settling differences by death.

The Buddha had this to say:

In this world
Hate never yet dispelled hate.
Only love dispels hate.
This is the law,
Ancient and inexhaustible.

- Dhammapada

Was the Buddha a Negative Thinker?

Remember the story about about the turning point of Siddhartha Gautama's life? He saw four things that troubled him - an old, sick man, a corpse, a beggar and an ascetic. Deeply depressed by these sights, he sought to overcome old age, sickness and death by living the life of an ascetic. And so he abandoned his former life, forgot about his wife and his parents and went forth to seek the truth with nothing but the clothes on his back.

If there was a positive thinker walking with him, I think this is what he would have said to Gautama.

The old man
He would say to Gautama, "Be happy, at least you are better off than the one about to be cremated today."

The sick man
He would say, "Be happy, at least you have a chance to show compassion to him and make merit."

The corpse
He would say, "Be happy, at least you are alive to enjoy this fine day."

The beggar
He would say, "Be happy, at least you come from a well-to-do family and have no shortage of food at home."

The ascetic
He would say, "Be happy, at least you are spared of having to think too much."

And if he was positive-minded, he would say, "Yeah, I am grateful for what I have. I will not let these things sadden me."

So I've been wondering about this for a while.

If Gautama was a positive thinker who found contentment in every shortcoming in his life, would he have any reason to walk down the path to enlightenment?

As I understand it, enlightenment is about escaping life's bondage rather than embracing its positiveness or negativeness.

Do you think positive thinking, while being a necessary sugar to make the coffee drinkable, can also inhibit the desire to search for truth?

When temple meets beer bottle

Monks at Thailand's Sisaket province have taken "no discrimination" to a new level.

They took a million empty beer bottles and built the Wat Pa Maha Chedi Kaew temple.

Awesome. ^_^

Comment box problems

For some odd reason the comment link on my latest post turned off by itself. I didn't realize it until a few hours after I had posted the entry and had to manually set it back on.

And feisty spammers have been keeping me busy on my other blog.

Do bear with me as I iron these kinks out. ^_^

How much of your life is driven by fear?

Lots of people tell me they are driven by dreams. Desires. Hopes. Or just the love of something.

Its interesting to pay attention to their answers because sometimes (not all the time) you will find something entirely different underneath. Like this conversation I had with my friend Tom who graduated from UC Berkeley.

Me: "So, what's next for you?"

Tom: "I'm looking to do my postgraduate at Caltech, then probably a PhD in robotics."

M: "You like it that much huh?"

T: "Well DT, you know me. I'm not gonna survive a "real" job and I don't think there's anything out here for me. But I'd be interested in that internship program at JPL though."

M: "Oh. NASA in 5 years?"

T: "Yup. NASA in 5 years."

Tom hopes a stint at the Jet Propulsion Labs in Pasadena will eventually help him get to NASA as an engineer. He's well on his way there now.

I've known Tom for 8 years now. He doesn't want to end up in a staid corporate job like his brother Jim. Tom's a nice guy but he's a loner and a geek. With braces. The sort that attracts bullies. He's received his fair share of wedgies right up to sophomore year in college so he figures a research organization like NASA is his only chance at a semblance of a respectable future. It became his dream.

But flip the dream over and I saw fear. The corporate jungle isn't always kind to people like Tom. He may not get a job he can perform. He's not being pulled to JPL. He's pushed there by fear. The dream of going to geek heaven is a by-product of that fear.

I think we're no different. We study because we fear that without qualifications we won't get a job. We stick to a job we hate because we fear the consequence of joblessness. We go to the movies on weekends because we fear boredom. And we dislike going out alone because we fear loneliness.

I don't know about you but it feels scary to think we live in constant fear of one thing or another. It sounds far-fetched and we deny it. If only our Freudian slips didn't give us away every time. Example:

You: "Oops, I need to run and put money in the parking meter"

Judy: "Why worry? I see no traffic officers."

You: "No lah. Scared I'll get a ticket."

Notice how entrenched this pattern of words is in our daily conversation? "Scared I will get [consequence]." The word "scared" is the Freudian slip. A mistake in speech that reveals one's true subconscious desires. Seriously, despite all the love for positive thinking, have you ever heard anyone do the positive and say, "I'm putting money in the meter so that City Hall can continue to pay its workers and the city will be kept neat and tidy"?

I am guilty of this too but thankfully not everything I do is rooted in fear (I think.) For example, my curiosity about space exploration. I just happen to think its a blast to explore the universe. Its like going to the zoo. Okay maybe there is a bit of averseness, that I see a dying planet as a reason to begin space exploration. But that's not gonna happen in my lifetime so as of now, I'm driven more by the thrill of discovery than anything.

My point is this. There's a practical side to being aware how much of what we do is rooted in fear and how much of it isn't. If we are to lead fearless lives, it is worthwhile to recognize each subtle fear, render it harmless by learning not to be afraid of that fear and in time, remove the word "scared" from our vocabulary.

I am assuming that to live positively is to live fearlessly because to be scared of this and that, even subconsciously, is anything but positive.

How does your mind look like?

A person is fascinated by the things he sees. Seeing how pleasant they are to the eyes and touch, he yearns to possess them.

"That's so nice! I like! I want!"

A friend reminds him, "Do you really need that?"

"Aw c'mon, you're thinking too much," he says. "We must learn to enjoy life. Live it to the fullest!"

And so he packs it up and brings it home. And in this way he goes through life, picking up every joy he sees and bringing it home to his loft.


Another person is fascinated by the things he sees. Seeing how pleasant they are to the eyes and touch, he ponders,

"This is so nice! But will I still like it next year?"

Knowing the answer, he cherishes the object for that minute, lets it go and moves on.

And he comes home to his loft empty handed.


We all agree that happiness is a simple life. We may differ in what simplicity means.

We might believe that simplicity is to live free of thought. To be free of thought is to allow our senses to lead us wherever they fancy (because to resist is to think too much.) If we like it, just take it home and put it next to the thing we brought home yesterday. We worry about complications later.

Or we might believe that simplicity is having no baggage. To be free of baggage in the sea of sensual temptations requires the effort of letting go of "I want." Letting go requires reflection and understanding. As we go along, awareness builds and it gets easier. And the effort results in an uncluttered room.













A simple garden is not always the result of an unthinking mind. On the contrary it is often the result of profound awareness and understanding.

How does your mind look like?

How do you like your coffee?

As I look back at my old posts, it just occured to me that many of them would appear to be... almost bleak or negative in my interpretation of the world. I seem to be presenting the side that is ambivalent towards positiveness.

My posts on hope, for example, might have given the impression that I view hope as a bad thing. Although thats not what I meant, that what I was trying to say was that even hope has consequence which can either be happy or not happy, I can understand how it can be interpreted as throwing cold water on a hot idea.

I guess it reveals the two things that dominate my mind at this stage of my growth. First, I am trying to discover for myself why things are the way they are. While people accept things without question (because everyone says thinking too much is a bad thing) and build their hopes on motherhoods and traditions, I go subterranean to try and learn what makes these wisdoms tick. As others rush to invest in a particular stock because everyone says its good, I take it apart piece by piece to see if something's really there.

I have to accept that because life is hard enough as it is, illusions sell and that I will never represent a popular point of view.

Two, I am trying to understand what happiness is. I've stopped equating it with possessions some time ago. I suppose that'll run against every cell in your body if you happen to devote your entire life to the pursuit of money. I don't deny the reality that you need money to pay rent and buy groceries but the fact that I don't see happiness in million-dollar homes and fat bank accounts scares a lot of people, even my family.

So this is the phase in my life when I'm trying to use my own faculties to separate the wheat from the chaff, the substance from the marketing. Along the way, I learnt a valuable lesson. That people do need masks. Life without masks is like coffee without sugar - its unbearable. I can appreciate that. And I'm happy to make coffee for my friends - with cream, sugar, chocolate sprinkles and a dash of vanilla if they want - as I take mine neat.

This blog is my coffee minus cream and sugar. Its a place where I can pick apart wisdoms without feeling I must conform to one set of values or another. Its my zero gravity chamber. Typing out the words helps me think. Its part of my trying to be more self aware.

The Psychology of Hope and Fear

"When you feel hopeful, your body's relaxed. You feel generous and open, not only with others, but with yourself too. Your world expands with ideas for how the hope could gather even more momentum. You feel motivated forward.

If fear takes too much hold of a personality, rigidity of thought and paranoia enter. When this happens on a national level the same trend is seen. You end up with things like racism, sexism and hate."

- Joyce McFadden (Read the full article here)

McFadden is a certified psychoanalyst from Columbia University, an Obama supporter as I am. What she didn't mention in her excellent article is one funny thing about hope. How one man's hope is another man's nightmare.

In the 2008 US Presidential, 53% of American voters defined hope as Obama and 46% defined it as McCain. Yes, hope ran deep on each side. One side hopes that the world is compassionate, inclusive and progressive. The other hopes that the world is conservative, one that must be divided to maintain order.

You might be tempted to say there is "good" hope and "bad" hope, and bad hope = delusion. That would confirm my suspicion of hope as an ideological creature, where good and bad depends on which side of the ideological fence one sits on.

In McFadden's view, each hope-filled side would "feel hopeful, their bodies relaxed. They feel generous and open, not only with others (who share the same views), but with themselves too. Their world expands with ideas for how the hope could gather even more momentum. They feel motivated forward."

So what does the pacifist who hopes to unite the world and the terrorist who hopes to blow up a thousand people have in common? They are both driven by the audacity of hope. Its just that one man's hope is another man's nightmare. Which is which depends entirely on what ideology you subscribe to.

Judgementalism aside, what is clear to me is that humans cannot survive without hope, no matter how misguided we think it is. Hope is why we put our life savings on the casino table even though the chances of winning are a million to one. Hope is the reason why we seek "happy ever after" when reality says "this, too, shall pass." Hope is why we are inherently discontent, always looking for change, always pioneering new areas. Hope gives us that adrenalin. Whether it drives us to our salvation or our downfall is a different matter altogether.

"I am fearful of your hopes."

- Anon

The Will of Heaven

The cruelty of ancient emperors knows no bounds.

Qin Shih Huang is said to have sent countless innocent people to their deaths building his monuments and the great wall. He castrated people, buried hundreds of scholars alive, ordered intellectual works burnt, killed anyone he thinks stood in his way. In a last "heavenly" act he buried hundreds (thousands?) alive in his tomb at Xi'An.

Said to be suffering from megalomania (i.e. he's a psycho), Qin Shih Huang wanted to live and rule forever. He is hailed as a great man who unified China, one who standardized its writing, currency, and measurement systems that lasted to this day.

Not to belittle history but all this got me laughing because it tells me more about the historians than the emperor. So the recipe for "greatness," according to these esteemed scholars, is simple. Kill millions of innocents to enforce your version of order and you are a "great" man.

Come to think of it, it is actually very easy to unify the world. All you need is enough firepower to kill off any resistance - including your friends and family - and you too can unify anything. I think imperial Japan and Hitler had the same ambition. They too would have been "great" uniters of the world if they hadn't run out of guns and bombs. Think about it. We would be having yen or deutchmarks in our wallets today. And writing our blogs in katakana or the great Aryan language, depending.

Thank goodness I am not a great uniter.

May Qin Shih Huang's karma allow him to rest in peace.

Hope is dangerous. Sometimes.

Hope = Dreams = Aspirations = Ambitions
Being more than what you are

I had a long night last night, preparing for a client presentation for this afternoon and doing social work again. This time by phone, to my friend's father in Singapore.

I've blogged about it before, about a family deep in trouble over debts with the father valiantly but hopelessly trying to raise money via bookies. When you owe $300,000 and all you have is $100 in your pocket and 14 days to pay, I guess the last place you look at to raise money is fixed deposit or mutual funds.

I won't go into the personal details of this tragic case, only to toss around this thing called hope.

There's something about hope that makes us walk with purpose. A new child is hope to a parent (my opinion, correct me if I'm wrong). Its the Parent version 2.0. Its a new beginning, a chance to do it again without all the mistakes, gaffes, and missed opportunities. Who doesn't want a second chance.

The same manifests in business, friendship, lifestyles. Its in our nature to be forward looking, positive thinking and hope for the best. Sometimes our dreams come true and we live happily ever after. But sometimes....

Truthfully I have mixed feelings about hope. I'm not anti-hope but social work lets you look beyond the fairy tale setting. Show me any case and I can tell you it all started with hope. A guy mortgages his house because he hopes to make a million in the stock market. A lady marries a loser because she hopes he could turn around. Parents send their son to an expensive school because they hope he could become a great person. Noble visions that turn out great lives if successful.

Then there's the flip side. A conman hopes no one will catch him ripping off retirees. A vengeful person hopes something bad will befall on someone he has a score to settle with. A gambler who puts down his last $100 on a bet hopes he'll roll it to a sum big enough to pay off his $300k debt. And the bookies who take the bet hopes the odds will stack against hope.

If you take away the judgemental aspect, hope is what keeps all these people moving forward.

But misguided or not, we humans cannot live without hope. If I tell someone, "Uncle, please don't gamble away your last $100," he will probably say, "You are killing the last hope I have. You want my life to be hopeless is it?"

Yes, you wouldn't condemn someone to a life without hope would you. I've asked this question before - which would you prefer, an uncertain future with hope or a certain future without hope. And I think I know your answer to the question.

But hope is innocent. Its what you hope for that matters. Unbridled foolish hope can only be reigned in by something we youngsters loathe. Its that most uncool, unhip, wet blanket thing called wisdom. Well we are only human so when faced to choose between wisdom and ignorance, what do you think we'll choose?

I dunno about you but you have to admit there's something about watching giggling people bungee-jumping off a cliff (obviously hoping to get an adrenalin rush), the cable snaps and they plunge head first onto the rocks at 200 km/h. Splat, hahaha, shrugs. Let's hope the next one is funnier.

Chance

A fruit seller decides to stop at a highway layby for a rest.

A stranger comes along and offers to buy a dozen fruits.

As he drives to the next city, he finds one overripe fruit and tosses it into the dustbin.

The garbageman takes the garbage to a landfill.

A bird comes along and pecks on the fruit.

It flies over a field the next day and passes out the indigestable fruit seeds.

A fruit seed germinates and grows into a fruit plant.

The fruit plant, rare in that area, attracts some nearby residents who like the fruit.

One of the residents hit on a bright idea and thinks he can make money by farming the fruit.

3 years later, his fruit farm turns into a thriving business that attracts tourists.

The tourists attract hawkers, coffee shops, a bus station.

10 years later, what was once a barren field is now a busy commercial center with housing villas, schools and shopping centers.

Nobody knows what every seed, thought, or action might lead to.

We seem to be products of chance.

The realities of the world seems random.

Young and invincible (or why we don't listen to advice)

So why don't people listen to advice?

Let me ask you, was there a time in your life when you believed that advice was for sods who couldn't think for themselves?

We've all had our moments when we're convinced we have all the answers. Mine started when I believed I was Superman. I must've been 5 or 6 years old. I leapt off a swing and fell flat on my chest. Caused a mild panic at the playground.

My mom and teachers had always warned me not to play Superman that way but would I listen? Nooo... of course not. I was convinced I could fly and nothing in the world would've stopped me from taking that lesson in gravity. It just had to happen.

As a kid I've always wanted to be a champ and being a champ was all about finding your own way, proving you are right and others wrong. Its an identity thing. Identity's like the clothes you wear. Once your parents or teachers starts dressing you, you are not you so you train yourself to reject all these opinions that people were imposing on you. You'd say they were cramping your style.

I've wised up a little since but I don't think anyone had ever really gotten over their identity crisis - the idea of "me" that's causing us to stubbornly cling to our beliefs and opinions in spite of good advice from others. We need our convictions because they give a solid body to "me"-ness. We need it to feel alive.

And what of those who would risk everything including their lives to prove a point?

Thankfully I've never reached that point before. I suppose if my sticking up for something is purely for a sense of satisfaction or self-fulfillment, like insisting that my car can kick your car's ass, lets race, then I probably wouldn't bother. Not that I don't have pride or think there's nothing worth defending but I've learnt one thing. Proving myself right is not always what it promises to be. I mean, how many decisions have you made that seemed so right at one time now seems so wrong?

So my take on why people don't listen to advice is simple - fear. The fear that accepting advice diminishes our individuality, the precious thing that makes us unique. The less mature we are, the more identity matters and the stronger you can expect the resistance to programming via second-hand "advice".

Conscience

Someone takes your property right from under your nose and later denies it. Cuts queue and makes like he or she has done nothing wrong. Puts melamine in baby food knowing full well it destroys kidneys. We ask why.

Remember the movie Alien (1979)? You might recall this conversation:

Ripley: How do we kill it Ash? There's gotta be a way of killing it, how, *how* do we do it?
Ash: You can't.
Parker: That's bullshit.
Ash: You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? Perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.
Lambert: You admire it.
Ash: I admire its purity. A survivor... unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.

That last line was the kicker to me. Ash the android describing purity as a state of being "unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality."

As a trained programmer I can relate. A computer will do anything you program it to do. It is not hamstrung by tradition and opinion. It is not judgemental or indecisive. Look at the primitive mindless animal. 100% sharp teeth and survival instinct. It bothers with no pretensions of right and wrong.

Xen wrote a piece about PRCs (Mainland Chinese nationals) swarming over Singapore creating havoc. Housewives and cabbies swear they have no conscience, only one objective - to take what belongs to you, never mind that homes, families and fortunes are wrecked in the process. Ash would admire the ruthless "purity" of such single-mindedness.

Well, having met a few PRCs myself, I know that not all of them are like that but it did make me think. If you've ever rubbed someone the wrong way, you'd know that an adversary without conscience is the most formidable kind there is. In Alien, Ripley found that out the hard way. We too are finding out the hard way, this whole melamine episode being one.

People with no conscience don't recognize value systems. In a study of serial killers, it is thought that this is due to some neural dysfunction in the frontal lobe, the part of the brain that controls ethics, morals, manners and social responsibility. Damage can be caused by things like Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or a sharp blow to the head and can lead to nasty personal disorders like narcissism.

But the conscience-challenged often do understand one thing - punishment. So much so that if they avoid doing something bad, it is out of fear of being caught rather than an appreciation that their action is hurting others. So they'll tell you its okay to do whatever. Just don't get caught.

Sound familiar to you?

(Edit: I just discovered a Washington-based organization called CREW - Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics. Singapore might be able to use something similar. I wonder if they'll call it SCREW.)

Seeing things

The Pillars of Creation Nebula

The Eye of God Nebula

No I've not gone evangelical.

If it was up to me I'd name Pillars of Creation "Badly-made Yau Char Kwai (Chinese doughnuts)" and the Eye of God "Stove Flame with Faulty Vent".

I'm just fascinated at how we like to use divine-sounding names to label wonderous phenomena. I'm not sure if anyone has ever seen god to know what his eye looks like.

Btw a nebula is just a bunch of interstellar gases heated up by a cluster of stars at the core.

Unhappy? Then create your own reality.

My trip back to Sg felt a little different this time. What can you say when your friends start saying:

"If I sold my shares today, I'll lose 40% of the money I invested."
"I'm not buying any more gadgets.'
"I don't know how long my job will last."
"I can survive until next month. After that I just don't know..."
"I am stuck."

Seems that happiness and money go hand in hand and few people are more aware of it than Singaporeans.

Malaysia's not that far off either. Okay, maybe its more dire because of other "extra" issues that I won't get into. And everybody knows America's not in the best of shapes too.

You know how people say that for whatever pickle we're in, we're responsible for it in some way? I think there's a lot of truth in it. I've always believed that the decisions we make are like the white ball on a billiards table. Strike it and it knocks around some red balls. These balls in turn knock around other balls and so on. Sometimes one nudge is all it takes to change the entire picture.

And that's what decisions do. A decision to go out for a stroll could result in bumping into a friend and subsequently a decision to buy shares or take up a job that will take us in directions we never dreamed of. It would be easy to say that like the red balls, we're hapless passengers caught up in a train wreck but that's where the billiard ball analogy ends. The difference is that billiard balls can't generally think and decide how to respond to an incoming ball. We can.

There are people who (still) believe the world is flat. Everyone's entitled to their opinion and we too have our own preferences that make us unique. Its another way of saying our reality is shaped by what we choose to believe in. Implication: it is very important to choose what to believe in.

If we decide to believe we can't be happy unless we're swimming in a pool filled with hundred-dollar bills, then we will have to deal with the good and bad consequences of that belief. If we choose to believe in the opposite, we also have to face the consequences of that belief.

So back to my dear friends in Singapore. What's done cannot be undone. You cannot un-invest in a bad investment or un-apply for your job. There's only one path left - ahead. If you're unhappy with this reality, you can always create a new reality by letting go of things that aren't working and choosing a path that leads to a different reality. Even at the cost of losing doting friends and a branded lifestyle. And that's your biggest challenge - letting go. And learning the Newtonian art of understanding how action-reaction works so you can spot a train wreck before it happens.

You can see that while I'm acutely conscious of the financial and social mess in the region, it doesn't bother me much. That's because a different mental formula keeps my eye on a different ball. A disaster in your reality is a nice sunny day in mine and maybe vice versa. I'm still learning but my hunch has always been this: happiness is having few needs.

Joe the Imaginary Friend

My mind groans as America gets caught in yet another stupid spin cycle, this time entitled "Joe the Plumber," recently created by John McCain.

It does not matter that the guy's first name is Sam, not Joe. It does not matter that he's not a real plumber. It does not matter that by now, everybody in America knows that none of this "Joe the Plumber" business is actually real.

But why let reality get in the way of a good cry. The Republicans think they have a superior tax policy. They need to put a face to it. For the tv cameras, of course. So they find this guy out of nowhere, wrap the scenario around him, breathe life into him by calling him out in a nationally televised debate, and then sit back and watch it snowball into a monster.

And America loves it. I have a sick feeling that from now until November 4, Joe the Plumber, previously known as Joe Sixpack, will dominate the news cycle. Everyone will be asking him hypothetical questions, feeling sorry for him, producing skits about him from SNL to Youtube, even though they all know its just a charade.

We all love our imaginary friends. They make our problems and sorrows seem real, our actions justified. We get to dress them up like a Ken or Barbie doll. And we get fiercely protective of them.

Sometimes I ask myself, am I in a loony bin?

Life is like a ...

Robert Mager: Life is like a pinball machine. It throws events at us and flips us in one direction or the other.

Forrest Gump: Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Damien Tan: Life is like a Chinese finger trap. Sometimes the only way to break free is to let go.

What is your favorite Life is Like?

Last post of the week before I disappear back to Sg for the weekend.

The phone trader

You are having a meal at a restaurant when a phone salesman stops at your table and starts promoting his product. He's a young man, well-dressed, looks fresh out of college, looking like he's just trying out his luck. You have no intention of buying his product. What would you do?

1. Ignore him as he talks
2. Cut him off and forcefully tell him to go away
3. Let him finish what he wants to say and then tell him you're not interested
4. Ask him to sit down for a drink

This is what I notice.

Malaysians tend to do (1).
Singaporeans tend to do (2).
Americans tend to do (3).

I tend to do (3) even though I spend more time in Malaysia and Singapore these days. Once in a while I do (4).

I guess we all have our reasons why we do what we do. Mine is this.

We all eke out a living by the grace of those kind enough to give us money, even though we complain about it.

The guy hawking his wares table to table under the sun and rain probably has to work 20 times harder than I do sitting in a comfy office to make the same dollar.

He too needs to go home and feed his family. He chose the dignity of work rather than stealing. The least I can do is say thank you for his effort, wish him luck and not slap him in the face for ruining my nice evening.

I've seen the rich turn into paupers overnight, now groveling at the feet of those they once despised.

Life is uncertain. Death is certain.

Conservation

Must be nice to swim all day.

Pic source: www.whale-images.com

Migration

I hate to do this but I'm left with little choice but to migrate my blog out of Multiply after losing a bunch of draft entries there. The latest incident happened this morning. A casualty of their recent back-end applications upgrade I suspect.

That reminds me of an old IT programmer joke. Pay us or we'll upgrade your content management software. Hehe. :D

I'm going to miss Multiply's network and contacts features. That's why its a tough decision.

My gratitude to LC Teh for introducing me to that platform where he has a blog and where I've picked up a few new online friends. You guys can always come to this new blog and visit, right?

I'll still keep my Multiply account and visit your Multiply blogs but my new blog entries will be published here in Blogspot from now.