How to make a magic spell

Some time ago I had a chance to hang out with some guys and we somehow got down to talking about magic spells.

Now just because I grew up in the west, it doesn't mean I can't sit down and have a listen to this fascinating world of voodoo. I mean, how many times have we heard Harry Potter say Expecto Patronum.

But over here, unlike Harry Potter, for the right amount of money you can have all kinds of spells made out for you. There are spells that will protect you from bodily harm, from ghosts and spirits, from theives, and from bad people. There are spells to enhance your financial luck, make the rain fall and make you irresistable to the opposite sex. And then there are spells to break spells.

The wonderful thing about spells is in how they are a lot like feng shui. If it works, you are awed by the maker of the spell. If it doesn't, its not the spell. Its you. And I don't think they give refunds.

I asked one of them named Thom if its possible to cast a spell on someone in New York or have its protective effects follow a Muggle like me there. It'll be so cool to be able to walk around the Bronx and not worry about being mugged, I thought.

He wasn't sure if it could be done but quickly qualified that if the shaman was powerful enough, why not.

It was a fun conversation, very educational. If I was a local with lots of moolah, I tell ya I might just be tempted to order the Saturday night special myself: a cocktail spell to protect me from everything, win me the lottery and turn me into a chick magnet. Oh, life would be perfect.

That night, a thought struck my Muggle mind. Why can't I just make my own spells? So after some more thought, here's what I have in mind.

Protection from ghosts and spirits
The spell: A torchlight
How it works: Everyone knows ghosts are afraid of anything brighter than a birthday candle. If you don't have a torch, the remote control for the ceiling lights will do. But torches, being heavier, are preferred because you can throw it at the ghost if it comes too near.

Protection from financial problems
The spell: Contentment.
How it works: If I could knock some sense into myself and say so what if I don't have the latest iPhone, I will not be suckered into 3-year cellphone operator contract or run a credit card debt and skimp on my meals for the next one year just to pay off the debt.

Protection from legal problems
The spell: Truth.
How it works: If I don't tell lies, not evade taxes, and pay my obligations on time, I will cause no reason for anyone to come after me.

Protection from diseases and bodily harm
The spell: Moderation.
How it works: If I stop eating unhealthy food, smoking weed, and chugging down half a bottle a day, I will not create causes for diseases to set in. And if I don't show off my wealth, thieves will find me extremely uninteresting.

Chick magnet spell
The spell: Money.
How it works: Even if I look like something the cat dragged in, with enough money in the bank, I can be surrounded by hoes of my choice 24-7.

Now here's the best part. These protections are absolutely free (except for the chick magnet bit and maybe the torchlight) and I'm pretty sure their effects will follow me wherever I go, even to New York.

And you need not depend on faith for it to work either. You can actually see it working for yourself. Keep credit card in pocket when you shop and tadaa.... see no bill coming at end of month. How's that for protection against financial problems. ^_^

So who says only Harry Potter can do magic.