HMS Titanic again?
Recently, I had a chat with my brother who's now settled in Boston. He's planning to get married end of this year. Not exactly a springtime wedding but there were just too many logistics complications, his fiancee's job and my dad's activity schedule being a couple.
Anyway, we got to talking about his plan for a family and that's when I learnt that he and his fiancee aren't sure if they want to have one. It caught me by surprise so I asked why.
His answer was quite blunt. With all the things going on in the world, he's not sure if the kids will have a future.
At the root of his pessimism are a few things. He thinks the world will be in a state of war for another 2-3 generations and it will have a very unpleasant ending. What if his kids get drafted to war, he worries. (We have one friend drafted to Iraq and another to Israel plus a few still serving in the US National Guard.)
He also thinks that in 50 years time, the climate will arrive at a life-threatening point. And because of climate change, in as short as a couple of hundred years, instead of fighting wars over territory and ideology, people will fight over food and water. And it will be nastier because its driven by desperation and not ideals, aided by new age weapons.
All in all, he doesn't believe humans can last another 4-5 generations and feels that bringing more bodies will only create needless suffering.
I told him his doomsday predictions aren't new. Even during the time of the Pharaohs and Chinese emperors, amidst the intense brutality, many people didn't expect that we (humans) would last another millenia. Yet here we are.
But what he said next did strike home a point. Those eras didn't have to grapple with the greatest game changer of all - the cataclysm caused by an overheated planet.
I can sympathize. When I look at the IPCC data on climate change and the planet's climate history, I too have a bad feeling at the pit of my stomach. Naturally the league of nations will be all positive about it. You can't say there isn't much we can do without creating massive global chaos.
But I had the last say of course - my good old Butterfly effect theory. What if one of his kids becomes the savior that man had been waiting for? Not a savior of the religious variety but maybe as an inventor of a technology that can save the world?
Even Einstein's parents never thought that far when they raised him up. Is he so sure that his kid - or any kid born in the next 100 years for that matter - won't be the one that might change the course of history?
Yeah, its a long shot I know. I guess the good news is, he and his fiancee are still unsure. I do understand where he's coming from but I also know that not having a family would also remove one big reason why people get married. Maybe they found a way around that. I really hope so.
I guess I now understand why visions of the HMS Titanic come to mind whenever I watch the news these days.
p.s. 
Smile and take it easy. I dunno about you but I got plenty to be happy about, Titanic or not.
6 comments:
Hey! Finally you brought this topic up. My friend's boyfriend, mother and other friends are singing to the same tune. Like " This world is such a sad place to live in so why bring in more people into this sadness..." and all. Her boyfriend is quite resolute about this point although she would like that option.
For her, I think it's the mother instinct. However, I do agree that it's quite true if you look at it from your brother's point of view. It's really not a very nice prediction, but where else is it heading anyway.
The boyfriend was giving me a lecture about the basic structure of a love life between a man and a woman. Is that once you are together, GF/BF enjoy enjoy, then get married, then honeymoon then kids, then see kids grow up... then have more kids. It's a way to keep the romance alive because there are always new things coming in. With new people/kids, we transfer our ideas to the kids, they formulate their own and have new ideas. This is how humanity advances. He's quite a nice simple guy. It's a much happier thought, although not thinking about it doesn't mean that it's not there.
What I think is that now we should all (as parents) focus on the way we bring up our young. With good character as firsts. Nowadays people, yes, do have education for granted and are whimsically highly educated, but character wise.... OMFG!!! Look at rebellious students! The only way students can behave like this is due to parents.
Anyway, do you have kids? Or plan to have any? What does the wife/fiancee/gf say? I was thinking of having 4!! XD
Perhaps my perceptions are clouded by the broken families I saw when I did my social work in California.
Its good that your bf doesn't analyze things too deeply. You have a chance to live the normal life then, with kids and all, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Yeah I have the same view as your bf too, about how kids can be the binding force that keeps a couple together. Here's an alternative view of how it might work.
When the kids arrive, your attention shifts from the romance to something external yet part of you. The focus on each others' faults diminishes. Over time, the couple develops a more forgiving attitude towards each other's quirks, as there are more important things to worry about. You no longer have situations where not putting back the toothpaste cap can trigger off a major battle. It is that forgiveness that is missing in childless perfection-seeking couples who fight a lot, I suppose.
(Isn't that funny - keeping the relationship alive by focusing less on each other. ^_^)
Married? Moi? Haha, not yet. I'm just in my mid 20's. I did have a gf 2 years ago but I'm not in a committed relationship just yet. No hurry I suppose. ^_^
LOL not really not focusing on each other. More like no more energy left to fight over small things. Kids can really be very draining, which only leaves time and energy to focus more on the main things I guess.
I taught a few classes of kids and holy maloney, they can be cute but they need to be whipped. ALOT. Most of them. But they are very draining.
I'm not sure about the toothpaste thing because we havent lived together, but I have a sister and mom which makes my dad the only guy and sometimes living with a guy is... hmmm... I caught my dad using the kitchen sponge, KITCHEN SPONGE, FOR THE DISHES TO WASH THE BICYCLE AND HE PUT IT BACK. TWICE. I was like: THANK GOD I SAW THAT. And he's just like: just wash it and it'll be fine. See! Look! I washed it. And the bf is somewhere along the same lines... :'( "can't be too clean" Are all hetero guys like that?! Or is it a girl thing? XO
EURRRLLGGG
Xendis
I washed a mop in the washing machine with my clothes once and my (ex) gf freaked out. Thing is, I did wash the mop by hand before I threw it into the machine so I couldn't understand what the fuss was about. The mop was kinda new too so yeah, it could be a girl thing, hehe.
Exhaustion brings domestic peace... hmmm... ya think? I was thinking more along the lines of running around the house shrieking, like this lady with 4 little kids who never gave her a moment's peace. Maybe I've seen too many movies.
Damien, i don’t know why the reply that i've sent on the topic: My inverter aircon works! was discarded. So i'm sending right here as it's related to this topic.
Your wonder:
"I wonder if anyone is even thinking of having children with all these things happening to the planet".
I really don't know what the correct, right or appropriate answer for having children during global warming(gw) or disaster on planet. If for me, i would say no. If for u or public i cannot make the decision. It's all up to the individual choices.
Many people like to have baby b'coz it's cute,adorable, cheer them, strengthen the marriage, carry on the future generation …etc.
If i say a person shouldn't have baby during gw but what if earth can be save as we have enough veg people (or only a certain places is destruction, no war anymore) n suddenly the person are unable to give birth then they will blame on me! So it's better to keep quite n let them work out the karma.. Anyway it's all fated if the person have children or not. It got to have affinity between the children n the parents. It has to do with the past life n it's not like the baby want to be A mother n not B mother. To be related to A mother/father the baby have to have some relationship(past life- either parent, sibling, friend, colleague, business partner, the person enemy...etc. what i mean known to each other). The baby(what i mean the soul) also have to ask permission from the parent whether they can be their children or not. Also whether the parent it's on earth at the right time when the soul wanted to reincarnate on earth. If the mother it's not on earth but in other planet then the soul it's unable to come to earth.
It is say children are gift of god n is given to the person for some reason n the person it’s just a vehicle to let the soul come here.. I don’t know how to explain this as its too wide n i suggest u read it from my master explanation in the news magazine... To know more details go to www.suprememastertv.com Click link n news magazine download. choose english news magazine no 186 (www.godsdirectcontact.us, click news magazine) or directly - http://godsdirectcontact.us/sm21/enews/www/186/ms_46.htm regarding 'Children are always a gift from God'. Here u can read others interesting topic if u like. ex: - The precious gift of being Human
- The Indigo Children n the Golden Age
- The Celestial Schools in Heaven
- Aura
- A female Dog has a message for humankind
Many countless soul are dying to reincarnate on earth especially to the spiritual family bcoz they wanted to be a spiritual person n to meet the living master without much obstruction or searching so as they can liberated too.. so indirectly the children will be a vegetarian to a vegetarian spiritual practitioner. This is the positive side of it. So if u are unlucky it can just zip in without u knowing it. Ooop! I don’t know it’s lucky or not. If the children become a spiritual person, i think it’s alright n a noble purpose.
But children it’s also our karma debts. The example of karma debt can be read it thru here:
1)www.godsdirectcontact.org/eng/news/183/st_30.htm (enews no 183) - title: loving thy enemies ..
2)http://godsdirectcontact.us/sm21/enews/www/064/h.html (enews no 64) - title: A Topsy Turvy World
They are people who are desperate to have children but couldn’t have one. Maybe they just don’t have this karma but they can adopt children if they want to n care the child to be a better person.
Don't worry about the karma. We are all God children. The parents are commissioned by God to teach Heirs children. Love the enemy as like u love yourself. Respect everybody like Gods and Goddesses or Buddhas.
p/s What do u mean:'I got plenty to be happy about, Titanic or not'?
@stella,
Yes I agree, people should make their own choices about whether to have children or not. For those keenly aware of how their choices affect their surroundings, its a tough choice to make.
I can only say this for myself. I would go for adoption for a few reasons. First, by not adding a new life, I reduce the burden on the ecosystem. If a person consumes 100 tons of food in his lifetime, that is 100 tons I can free up to feed living people who are starving. It is an act of compassion.
Second, many people think you cannot love an adopted child as your own. I have a different view. From a Buddhist perspective, everyone has been everyone's brother or sister, father or mother in a previous existence. We are all family. There is no problem.
Thirdly, about extending the family name. To me, such things only matter if you are afraid. Afraid of losing property to non-family members after you die, afraid that your name and reputation will disappear from memory (you want to live forever,) things like that. I have no wish to live forever. I'm only focused on living now, not in the past or future.
We have to remember that one person can give birth to 5 kids, 5 to 25, 25 to 125 and so on. In just 2 generations, you can be responsible for adding over 200 people to this planet. To feed 200 people and their dependents, you will need 20,000 tons of vegetables, 1,000 cows and pigs, 20,000 chickens, 100,000 fish, half a million eggs, etc. etc. How will that affect the planet.
And what happens when the planet is struggling under global warming, crops failing from the heat and it still has to feed 6 billion people.
That is how we are responsible - from just having one child. A simple person wants a baby because it is cute. A mindful person reflects if his action is compassionate or the opposite.
I got plenty to be happy about? Haha... its all in the mind. If I can accept that the secret to happiness is not in accumulating objects (children, property, etc) but in letting go, then I can live with the world peacefully and happily no matter the circumstance.
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